It was not love that was taking him, but admiration and curiosity, which might be the heralds of love.
Ben Hur by Lew Wallace
This month I celebrated another birthday. Another anniversary a few weeks away. Followed by my son’s first birthday.
I spoke with several friends this week about what I have learned from roughly a third of a century on this planet. Life at the intersection of two cultures and countries. Then having gone on to a career in Silicon Valley, followed by an exodus into the wilderness. Here’s three things that have made a difference for me:
The Best Life Advice I Ever Received
Cada cabeza es un mundo my great grandfather would say. Every head is a world. My grandparents still use this little phrase as a reminder that universes are colliding every day. Reminding myself of this has made it easier to forgive others and find forgiveness when I need to seek it. No one’s whole story is ever the story you tell yourself. And often I have found I could be more deliberate in the cultivation of my inner earth.
Marriage Advice That Makes Sense
I had multiple friends ask me this week ask me about what it is like to “get the girl”. The truth is: you never get the girl. I have known my wife now for over 13 years. We have been married only a few less than that. Still I would be lying if I said I got the girl. What has happened here is that I have found a woman who will still let me pursue her. It is an exercise in admiration and curiosity.
Everyday Dad Advice
When we were expecting my son to arrive last year, I asked some dad friends what is the best advice they had for a soon to be dad. One of them distilled it into a single sentence: Carry around a twenty pound sand bag every day to get ready. Seriously. If my son ever feels overwhelmed with emotion, the effort that restores him to himself more than anything else is picking him up and going for a walk. These moments are without fail, the beautiful and enjoyable ones of my day and the only requirement is that dad has that sand bag strength.
The Bindings
Ben Hur by Lew Wallace. I now understand why this was one of the greatest books of the 19th century. And if I could I would make it required reading for all humanity.
The History of the Reign of Ferdinand and Isabella the Catholic by William H Prescott. Oceans erode entire shores faster than I think anyone could get through even this first entry into Prescotts complete works. But as a hispanic and mestizo living between the English and Spanish speaking west this is perhaps the greatest collection of insights into culture, religion, law, war, and peace that has influenced everything we know in the western hemisphere today.
The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd: Last year when I met Paul Millerd he sent me his book and I devoured it with delight. But this past week I purchased the Kindle edition as it is on sale for only $5 and it is one of those resources I know I will reference for years to come. If you have yet to read it or are looking for a digital copy, this is the time to get it.
The Letterings
Returning Home by Sam Sager. This insight into Sam’s life and the experiences he’s had offline, then online, along with finding ways to integrate these two worlds is an exercise in itself. Integration is not always intuitive but Sam’s intention shines through in this piece and inspires me.
Why Are We Afraid of Experiencing Art by Robin Waldun. When some dark academic punk from Australia began showing up in my YouTube recommended videos I thought the algorithm had truly lost it. But after watching over a dozen of Robin’s videos in about as many days I’m happy to report the algorithm over on YouTube is working better than ever. And his Substack is one to watch.
The Way of Mediocre Man by Paul Millerd. Hearing that Paul put out his first long form piece since The Pathless Path I instantly put it at the top of my reading queue. Much like the book it was easy to get into the mouth of my mind but I’ve been left with plenty to digest. While I still contemplate my thoughts on his newest dispatch, this piece can’t be ignored.
Until next week,
-Steven
PS. After as successful completion of Photography for Creatives, Cohort Two I will be becoming scarce here on the internet as I near the completion of my first book. There will be more information about this effort from me later this summer. Friday Library’s will continue. Rest well and Godspeed.
"Cada cabezo es un mundo" -- palabras de sabiduría. Muchas gracias.
I have learned this from a wise therapist ("everyone makes sense to themselves") and in my mediation journey. I have to re-learn it every day.
Happy Birthday! And so generous of you to share beautiful words as a gift to us. "Cada cabeza es un mundo," plus the flip that you found a "woman who would let you pursue her." Going to be letting that one sink in.