You Are The Instrument

My Son Leon standing on his toes at the beach on the Oregon Coast.

I once heard it said, structured prayer is the bridle by which mustangs are made stallions. It was probably Matt Fradd quoting someone who had it passed down across generations. It is a good metaphor, one that has had me wonder further…

We have a haunting amount of evidence that you and I are musical things. Not in some symbolic way. We are creation’s woodwinds and strings. When Jesus taught the practice of fasting and feasting, casting out demons and resting, it wasn’t mere discipline he was seeking. As the Author and Architect he seemed to understand creation at its deepest depths.

Have you ever watched two stringed instruments perfectly in tune? When one open note is played with enough strength, the same string on the seemingly untouched thing resonates. Have you seen the strings of our inner being? Da Vinci didn’t merely see in his anatomical studies an edifice, but an instrument and documented this accordingly.

Leonardo Da Vinici anatomical sketches

In our time, with what has been uncovered about acoustics and frequencies we know invisible things are not merely about and around but moving through all things. I recall from my time at Apple, Steve Jobs standing on a stage explaining to the world attenuation, what the media would dub Antenna Gate. Depending on how one holds a phone their grip affects the device’s ability for communication. Depending on how one lives, eats, rests and prays, fasts and feasts, night and day, all affect one’s reception of the Kingdom of Heaven which is already here¹.

We do not wonder why those glued to the worldly news are out of tune. We say they are out of touch in English. What we really mean is they do not resonate with the One who creates. This is why there is nothing new under the sun, but masses of souls channel surf at speeds unseen in history. The craving for novelty is a desperate search to find something in tune with one’s own disparate cords. They are never satisfied. An untuned instrument cannot play the songs of life.

The other day while praying the rosary, I took a break to share this idea with my wife. She encouraged me to write this piece. It always made sense to me that we play the rosary. It is the sheet music of ultimate reality. For one, there are no me’s and I’s in the Our Fathers and the Hail Marys. It may be the only time in one’s life that they speak with the collective voice of humanity, crying out in the Words of Christ with praise and petitioning.

There will be times I am walking about with my fingers on the beads and I will pass someone with hair made to appear like a toxic chemical spill or another soul driving a car with an engine screaming for help. And before my judgement or discontent can even rise, I remember my forgiven trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. How forgiven I am! A Mexican among these Americans! While some may not veil or drive EVs, what a great out of place foreigner and sinner I have made of me. They haven’t run me out of town for speaking Spanish to my kids or saying the rosary in Latin just as my ancestors did.

When I was a child, I remember thinking I might be able to deceive my parents, but there was no chance I could hide a single thing from my grandparents. They had lived too long practicing the songs of eternity. They could read on my face if any sinew was out of tune. They had been born at the turn of the 20th century. In my mind it has always seemed too close to Jesus. That they were raised by souls born into the world before steams replaced sails on the seas. Another dozen and a half of that and they could have told me Saint James himself got the commission from Jesus to go to the ends of the earth and so somewhere between the pillar in Zaragoza and the stars above the Compostela, they had parents who met someone who literally knew Jesus in the flesh. To my grandparents it hasn’t been two millennia since Christ rose from the dead, only a hand full of generations. Something that could still be counted on fingers and toes. This is the heart behind our prose.

Have you ever watched a child in front of a screen? They become possessed by the pixels and when it is removed from their gaze make wild gestures; sometimes even screams. Have you ever watched a child pray the rosary? It is like an instrument tuning. It sounds discordant at first. The child attempts to resist or even distract itself before whispering the words. The same words grandparents for generations have prayed. The same words spoken by the Angels and sung by the Saints. Often my son will saunter away after we pray with a skip in his step and under his breath, repeat fragments of verse as if it was the sweetest song in all the earth. It is as if he was made to be tuned to those enduring notes. My daughter, now one year old, will grab the beads as she falls asleep. What a gift it is to rest with the King of Eternity. Especially during this exercise in tuning we call parenting.

Amelia Teresa holds my rosary while falling asleep. Leon walking through the water.

Have you ever played a masterpiece? When I was a child on strings or keys, I must have played the same songs unceasingly. My favorites can still flow from my fingers albeit slower than my practicing days. With a rosary in my hand I have no need for hurry. The whole point of prayer is not performance, but appreciation, ad pretium, the literal premium placed on the life of our Lord, and Savior, King, and God of Eternity. He is the composer of peace. Peace isn’t an empty vacuum but a song of melodies.

I have lost count of how many times I have contemplated the Christian Mysteries. It is a fitting rehearsal for heaven. Make Heaven’s songs your unending melodies. There in the middle of that eternal symphony is the King and his peace.

-Steven

PS. My new book, The Enduring Devotion: Contemplations on the Christian Mysteries, is available now! Inspired by San Josemaría Escrivá and his nearly century old book, Holy Rosary, The Enduring Devotion is an invitation to magnify Christ in your life. Thank you to everyone who has already purchased a copy. Read more about the release here.

1. Matthew 4:17, Matthew 10:7, Matthew 12:28, Mark 1:14-15, Luke 10:9-11, Luke 11:20, John 18:36