Hauntingly, we have been here before.
I got a call from my father saying my mother had been admitted to the hospital. Flights booked. Wheels up. Now I am back in the city beside my mother.
In the hours before my flight I was in contemplative prayer in the forest. It may sound holy, but it is just me tending to the trees that will outlive me. It is, if anything, humbling.
While seated among the evergreens a friend had requested notes on the story of Jesus healing two daughters. After rereading the story, I marveled at the sorrow surrounding the scene when one woman was healed as the news of the other came to be.
Your daughter is dead, why bother the teacher any more?
Having overheard, Jesus spoke: Do not be afraid; just believe.
Excerpt from Mark’s Gospel, Chapter 5
Even today in my mother’s pain I have asked Jesus what is it exactly you want me to believe? Would it be the Apostles Creed or the Nicene Creed? John 3:16 or a Hail Mary? What do you mean by just believe?
As the story comes to its climax, Jesus takes this daughter by the hand despite being pronounced dead and says little girl, get up. But Jerome in the Latin didn’t want us to think Jesus was speaking like a Caesar in a stadium. Instead, he writes, it was at Christ’s confession that the girl immediately was raised.
Confession. Not a commandment. Not condemnation. It is confession that raises every man and woman. Even when we cannot speak, Jesus is confessing his desire for you and me.
It was not that Jesus had the power to raise Jairus’ daughter from the dead, but that he desired a daughter to live. And I’m beginning to see how he is perpetually confessing to every being: just believe I want you raised with me.
Until next week,
-Steven
PS. Please pray for my mother’s healing. Petition the Infinite for the miraculous. We are asking the Lord soften my mother’s heart to health and strength.
Last year my mother miraculously went into remission: The Economy of the Kingdom. Then when my son stopped breathing he was raised again: Bring Him Myrrh. We continue to pray for miracles. To all my subscribers, my gratitude for each of you continues to grow. If you have yet to subscribe, use the link below.
With you in this minute. In prayer and solidarity.
Just from following your work, it sounds like you've had one hell of a last 6-8 months Steven. I didn't want to say anything initially because my words felt empty, insufficient.
But then in my reading I came across a quote that I thought could resonate:
“Suffering is the way we test our love... Most of the time, suffering is a test of our love for God."
I'm suffering with you, my friend.